Dru’s New World

Recently Divorced and raising my two children on my own without child support from their mothers I am having a hard time coming up with christmas presents for them this year. My older daughter has toured the world with me living in apartments all over the US and Europe but we have never had a place that was “ours” This year I bought a house and my daughter has been upset with me because I have taken the smaller bedroom but it has a walk in closet. She is also upset that I have not allowed her to paint her room yet. Her whole life she has wanted to choose the color of her room but because of the apartment rental aggrements we were never allowed to pain. This year when my daughter wakes up there is going to be a ribbon and bow accross my bedroom door. There will be a card that says, “I am sorry the elves didn’t get to make the toys you asked for this year so we helped your father move to the spare bedroom so you can have this one.” She will open the door and see that my bedroom has been completely emptied out and there will be a few presents in the middle of the floor. When she gets the presents opened she will see a couple of cans of paint, a few paint brushes and a paint roller. Christmas afternoon I am going to send her to her grandmothers and when she gets back her new room will have a fresh coat of pain. Next year, New Carpet…

I know this is a site with many people that live in other countries but Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I know it is suppose to be a day that I am suppose to say I am Thankful for certain things. This year I could only come up with one thing that made me thankful. This isn’t because I am not thankful for everything in my life but because it was what has been on my mind for weeks.My family is HUGE and every year that I can remember dinner was my whole family getting together with my grandparents their kids and my Generation. Last year it was 48 people for dinner. This year there were a couple of weddings and a few more births. We were expecting 57 for dinner. Only 53 showed up. of course that is my brother which really sucks because I wanted to see him the most.So my daughter asked me what I was thankful for. I could only think of one thing:We are a large family and we just keep getting bigger and bigger. Every year Grandma sits down and we all gather her around and catch up on the past year. I am most thankful that with all that has happened in this family we all still get together and we all still have a good time.I think it is amazing that my Grandmother can actually sit down one day a year and see her 6 children, 16 Grandchildren, and 18 great grand children. This does not include spouces and boy/girlfriends that show up. I told my daughter, “When you and your sister get older, The only thing that I will ever ask for is that at least one day a year I want to sit down to dinner with my Daughters and grand kids and great grand kids.”

Origional Post Here

The right to choose abortion should not be made by the Government. I do believe that the Government is trying to make to many decisions for the people of this country right now. This Argument has been going on for years and the main argument against abortion usually rotates around Religion. This is the United States of America, we are the melting pot of the world. We have freedom of religion and we are allowed to make our own mistakes. I have never heard of a woman that woke up one day and said, “I am going to find a man, have sex, and get pregnant. I can’t wait to get an abortion.” As a man I will never understand the pains and anguish a woman goes though when she finds out she is pregnant and knows that there is a reason she can not keep the baby. As a man I can not tell a woman to do something because of what I believe. But, I do believe that it is not right for a woman to not include the man in the decision to terminate a pregnancy. As a man I should have some say if I want a baby and the mother does not. As a father I am glad that both my children are with me everyday. Neither of my children have seen their mothers in a very long time and both mothers have given me the option to raise these children before they choose to terminate the pregnancy. I appreciate and respect both of these women because they made the decision not to keep the babies but they made the choice to give me an option. Should a woman have the right to choose abortion? Who else has the right to that choice? The Government can not tell a person what they do with their own body and the Government should not try to force a belief on a citizen of this country.

I am having a bad day, I need to vent, Do not pity me because my life is actually great, I just need to Vent… This happens to me a lot when I feel Human. I was not raised to believe in Faith and to think that everything in life I receive is a result of my dedication and hard work.
I have since changed my opinion and know that the things I receive in life are a direct result of my faith and dedication to my faith. I feel that I have been handed test after test and that is just to remind me that I am human. I am a man that has fought hard and strong to gain the ability to raise my children while their mothers are doing other things far away from their children. I say this because I thank God everyday for this great opportunity that most fathers of Divorce do not receive.
Yesterday I went to court again for Child Support for my youngest. Again I was told that to make a determination they are going to postpone things for another month. I know the State has a calculation that is required and I know what the mother of my child makes a lot more than I do. Today I am having a hard time remembering that it will all work out in the end.
My ex lives with another guy now, her bring home is $5000/month. I know he makes around $4800/month. My Ex is also on TV everyday and out of respect I do not mention who she is or what Network she works for. I told the Court yesterday that I am having a hard time and all I am asking for is half of Daycare = $300/month
What really upsets me is She called last night to talk to my daughter and was so cheerful that with this postponement she will go a total of 2 years without paying a dime. She was explaining that she is making a trip to Europe, just bought a 40 inch plasma TV, and is driving a brand new Jeep Wrangler. That doesn’t bother me, until I think - Christmas is next month, I can not buy either of my kids anything, My rent check bounced, my car payment is a month behind and my electric company is threatening to turn off my electricity.
I was told last night that I need to cut down on some things that are not a necessity so I went though everything-
Rent- I have to have a place to live - and it is not nice
Electric - I need to have lights - I could live with candles
Food - I can live off of one meal a day - but my kids can’t
Garbage - Okay I stopped paying that and sneak to a dumpster down the road -shhh!!!
Gas - Its getting cold out so I need Heat in the house and I need to use the oven to cook the food
Daycare - I need to go to work so I have to have someone to watch the children
Telephone - I am court ordered to have a phone so the mother can call my daughter
Car - I have to get to work - I owe more than it is worth but I have a for sale sign in it.
No Cable, No Internet at home, Don’t go out to eat, Entertainment is usually a Dora Video that I have had for years, Barbie book, or movie from the Library.

I do not see any wants that I can cut back on… The Dru Story - coming soon to a blog near you…

Yes I definitely have to put my 2 cents on this one. I love camping and will continue to camp because of the memories I have of my childhood and the memories I want for my children. When I was growing up I had camping experiences with both of my parents in an RV, after they were divorced my father continued with the annual camping trip but we were using Tents and sleeping bags. I think of the memories I have of camping and remember before the divorce there is only one trip in the RV that can be recalled. This was the camping trip that was in California and we had to run into the RV and hide from a Bear that really enjoyed our popcorn that we were all sharing. Unfortunately, that is the only camping trip I remember from the RV era and that is the only part of the trip I remember. Then I sit back and think of all the times that me and my brother would slip out of the Tent in the post divorce camping trips and rub a branch against dads tent to see him run out to investigate to find his two sons laughing in the dirt. I can recall many times trying to hang a flashlight in the tent during a rain storm so we can all fit in the tent and see the cards that we were playing. I think that is the only time during Summer Vacation that me and my brother would wake up before the sun came up to get out fishing. I now realize while writing this that those were the only times that me, my brother and my father would stay together 24 hours a day without getting on each others nerves. Although I started writing this expecting to start saying things like, “save the environment” and “gas is too expensive” I now realize that if my father was able to keep the RV we would have watched TV, listened to Music, and ignored each other just like when we were home. With out those luxuries we were forced to spend time talking, playing games and enjoying each others company. It might have been hard for us to keep the Tent from smelling bad or keep our clothes dry the whole trip but believe me the relationship between the three of us is what came out of the tent and it has stayed strong even though we have not made that trip in 15 years. Now that states seperate all of us there are still times that I will sit there and enjoy the memories of our camping experiences and it always puts a smile on my face.