Dru’s New World

According to my daughter a long term relationship in her school is approximatly one month. I remember those days. I honestly believe that the only reason this break up affected my daughter so much was the situation.
The other day I left work early again and made it to the school so I could pick her up before she got on the bus. As I stood infront of the office looking over this wave of short people I noticed my daughter (she is one of the tallest in her school). She was walking towards me with her eyes firmly planted on the ground. Her best friend was walking beside her with the look of concern. My daughter looked up and greeted me with a painful smile.
As we walked to the car I asked her what happened at school. Of course I got the mechanical response, “nothin’”
“Then what’s wrong?”
“Tony Dumped me.” she said with a crack in her voice that told me she was about to cry. I knew then my busy plans for that night were changed. The car ride was quiet, she didn’t speak. Then she noticed that I turned the wrong way, “where are we going.
“You’ll see, you need some breakup medication.”
We pulled up in front of a Mom & Pop shop in the tiny town next to ours. We walked in and she actually started to look around for the medicine ilse. I said, “its back here.” We walked into the back where there is an old counter sat on stools and I looked at the man behind the counter. “Two Chocolate shakes, bad break up moment.”
The man gave a little smirk and went to the back kitchen. When he returned he handed the largest milk shake I have ever seen to my daughter and said, “it heals the heart” then placed a small Milkshake in front of me and said, “the large is on the house.”
Although my daughter has never been to this place I am there every morning on my way to work. Bobby, the man behind the counter, has heard about my daughter almost every week day for the past 6 months.
After a couple of ice cold sips my daughter told me a tragic story of pain, suffering and betrayal. I sat there listening and secretly thought, “boy are horrible creatures, but girls are just down right mean.”
I will have to explain this whole story someday but as for now it has snowballed into splitting a school in half and two fathers getting called to the Principals office.
The good news, after my daughter finished her milk shake and told me this horrible story, she got up with a huge smile gave me a hug and said, “I am so glad you will let me talk to you about this.”

Friday my daughter stayed after school since the school was showing a movie. She is in Middle School and she has been growing up way to fast this year. I left work early and decided it would be fun to go pick her up and then go out for an Ice Cream cone before we picked up her little sister from Day Care. I make sure that there are those little moments that the two of us can sit down and talk without the interruption of her 3 year old sister looking for my attention.
So I walk into the Auditorium and look among the mass of 11-14 year old in this huge room. I couldn’t see he and thought it was no big deal (there were a lot of kids) Then my eye caught her best friend. She was sitting just a few rows in front of me and was with a big crowd of kids joking and having fun, they definitely didn’t care if there was a movie there. I scanned the smaller group and sure enough there was still no sign of my daughter. Then I did a double take, there she was, right next to her best friend. She has a favorite sweatshirt, or Hoody I think they call them, she always wears it. There it was, how could I miss her? Well this whole time I was looking for this beautiful young girl with 2 arms and 1 head, I was not looking for the kid with one head on someone else’s shoulder. I was not looking for a boy with his arm around my daughter. I was not looking for this boy that was holding my daughter like she was the most valuable possession he has owned.
I will admit at first my blood was boiling over, I could not believe what I was seeing, then the humor set in. I know none of her friends saw me so I grabbed my camera phone and tried to sneak up a little closer. It was to dark I had this image of snapping a picture of this and sending it to every relative we have. I just couldn’t get the picture, well here I was standing right behind one of her friends that was right behind my daughter, look there, its an empty seat. I quickly tapped her friend on the shoulder and gave her the signal to be quiet. Sat down next to her and started watching the movie. Her friend leaned over and whispered, “Tony asked her out today.”
I quickly responded, “I see that,” with a little grin on my face. I was sitting there in this group of my daughters friends trying to think of something that I could do to embarrass her. I could have thought all day long and I would have never came up with something good enough. So I leaned over to her friend and said, “just tell her I will be up there waiting.”
On my way up towards the school lobby one of my daughters teachers stopped me. so I sat there and talked with him for a few minutes and was taking glimpses of my daughter and her new boyfriend. Then all of a sudden it felt like I was jumped on by a Linebacker in the Super Bowl. It was my daughter, I guess she noticed I was there.
She jumped on me and wrapped her arms around me and said, “Tony asked me out.” Of course I had the same reply, “I noticed, and again I had this grin. At this time I looked at where my daughter was sitting and I see this 13 year old boy sneaking away very quickly.
After telling my daughter I was waiting until the movie was over and then I would take her home, she gave me another hug and then went to sit down again.
“Wow, not to many daughters would be excited to tell their father they have a new boyfriend,” her teacher said to me.
“Yeah, I know” I said as I thought about every major milestone I have seen her go though, and realized this was the next one.

I think women should have the same opportunities as men, Raising two daughters I have come to the belief that women are smarter and more able at a lot of things than men. I also believe that men should have the same opportunities as women, Children raised by a man should be treated the same as children treated as women.

I recently went to court the other day for Child Support, Again… It has now been 18 months since I was granted custody of my youngest daughter. We have Joint Custody with Primary Physical custody awarded to me. Since there are 4 states between us there is no everyother weekend visitation it all goes off of seperating holidays and school vacation. 18 months without child support, 18 months of paying for a 3 bedroom apartment so each of my daughters has their own personnal space. 18 months of $700 per month in Pre School and Daycare tuitions = Thats $12600…

For Court we both had to do Financial Paperwork and according to that and research of how the state figures out child support I have come up with the figure that she should be paying is $1200/month. I am asking the court to provide me Child Support of $1000 per month to help cover Daycare, Preschool, gymnastics and Figureskating costs. I have been turned down four times. Well I will take that back. I haven’t been turned down, I have been told that we need to pospone another month for the past 5 months. Will I ever get child support?

The Ex-wifes lawyer is good at one thing, posponements. I have been told, She should not have to pay since she lives so far away and she has to pay phone bills, and travel costs to see her daughter. My answer, She is the one that moved so far away. I have been called a loser because I am trying to take money from a woman and a man should be able to make enough to provide all the great things a child needs. This last time, her lawyer actually got up in court and said that I do not deserve this money because I should be able to get a higher paying job as an Information Technology Professional. My answer to this, She is on TV every night working for a major network, She will make a lot more than me. I might get offers making almost 2 times what I make now but those would cause me to travel, move or work very long hours. I work 80 hours every 2 weeks, that is it, no more no matter what. To me that is neccesity so I have all that off time to spend with my daughters. The latest job I was offered was 3 times what I make now but it would have made me move to New York City, at least 50 hours a week and on average 6-10 days a month out of town.

Now either way, I am a parent of a little girl that wants to learn Figure Skating, I had to pull her out of the classes so I could pay my electric bill. I am a parent and I make all my decisions 100% with my daughters in mind. I do not deserve to get child support because I am a father?

When you go to family court it is usually very stressful anyway. When you go as a father you are the most sterotypical, Dead beat, tempermental, abusive man that anyone has met. Getting custody is a major accomplishment and you can tell a lot about a mother if the court grants custody to the father, look at Britney. But as soon as the custody is over you are back in the courts eyes for a worthless loser that just wants to screw the ex-wife over.

Why don’t women have to pay child support?

Another Holiday season come and gone. Another gift giving time where my daughter axiously awaits the package that her mother promised and another disappointing time for my daughter.
“Maybe it is lost in the mail”
“Maybe she couldn’t send it because she had to much school work.”
“Maybe she couldn’t afford to send it, she does have 2 other children dad”
These are the reasons she has come up with this year. 10 years of this crap and I can not understand how this girl can sit here and wait time and time again. No phone call, no card, nothing…
I found her mother on myspace, what a wonderful sight. A woman with a child she has seen 2 times in the past 10 years. Two children with her current husband that is serving in Iraq and here is her Myspace. The Profile picture, her making out with a guy on the couch. You would think it would be a picture of the husband that is serving the country in Iraq, YOU WOULD BE WRONG!!!
This is some 20 year old guy who in her words, “Would give up everything to have more babies with.”
Why does my daughter have such an image of this woman? How I wish I could show these pictures to my daughter and say, “This is the woman that gave birth to you, do not think she is the perfect woman.”
I vowed the day the divorce was final that I would never talk bad about the mother of my child, I would never hurt the image of this woman that gave birth to my beautiful daughter. Why is this woman making it so hard for me to keep this promise?
Please help me figure out what to do?
Please let me hear your story about the dead beat parent in your childrens lives.
Let me know I am not the only one out there that has these issues with the egg/sperm donor in your childrens lives.

Sometimes I am just amazed at my oldest daughter. One of the gifts I received this year might be the most thoughtful gift I have ever recieved. My daughter is now 11 and of course in school she has learned how bad smoking is to you and the dangers of smoking.
I am not sure how she came up with this stuff but when I was opening presents this year for Christmas she had wraped a package and what was inside made me feel a lot of emotions. All at once I felt happiness, love, pride, and most of all Fear.
She had made this present from her heart that was for sure and the first thing I saw was a note,

Dad,
I love you but this present is for your daughters.

So I continued on though a small package. The next thing I saw in the package was a Contract already signed by my Oldest Daughter and a Scribble Mark from my youngest. There was a space on the contract for me to sign. This Contract said that I would try to quit smoking on Monday, January 7, 2008. On this day I will allow my daughter to throw away all my cigarettes, Lighters, Ashtrays and anything else she believes causes me to smoke.

After I read though it I noticed that there was a pen in this little package and some 3×5 cards. There were little things on the cards that my daughter wrote. “Dad, I want you to see me Graduate from High School.” and “‘Dad, I want you to see me go to my Prom.’ ‘Dad, I want you to see me get married.’ ‘Dad, I want my children to know you.’ ‘Dad, we Love you.’”

This brought the tears, I quickly grabbed the pen and signed the contract. I am looking forward to January 7th, 2008. I feel it is going to be a great year.

I wonder if she read this Blog!